Bill Simmons is an ESPN columnist, author, mildly-devoted family man, and passionate fan of the Patriots, Red Sox, and Celtics. But he's willing to forsake most of those responsibilities in order to become the next general manager of the Milwaukee Bucks in the National Basketball Association.

We know what you're saying. "What?! How can a sportswriter jump directly from his keyboard to the board room of a respected professional sports franchise? Or even the Milwaukee Bucks?"

Well, it's been done before. Plenty of times. Tex Schramm was a former sportswriter who became one of the most influential GMs in NFL history. Ernie Accorsi is the general manager of the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, and admits to being a former sportswriter.

David Kahn, Marty Hurney, Ned Colletti, Parke Carroll, Billy Evans, George Kirksey, Jim Gallagher—all one-time writers who assumed front-office positions for sports teams at the highest level.

So we put together this site and petition to get the attention of the Milwaukee Bucks. Why us? We know people who know people. And those people just might know people who can get Bill Simmons an interview. Once he dazzles them with his arcane basketball knowledge and his dexterity on the ESPN NBA Trade Machine, the job will be his.

And if Bill can't get the Bucks back to the playoffs, and beyond? Well, we've already got a site prepared for that unlikely scenario, too.

Sign the Petition to Hire Bill Simmons »